Get More Followers

vanjalen:

basedpidgeot:

gf: babe come over

me (a lawnmower) : no i cant im cutting the grass and you live in the sky

gf: my parents are out

me: image

at what point does a joke die because i think we’ve beaten this horse into the ground with an aluminum bat

(via godsgonnacutyoudown)

biologytextbook:

a support group for people who began using popular slang ironically but now cannot stop

(via patrickslinus)

lliampayne:

how come in like every single book ever the weird awkward girl gets the hot popular guy like this is not how real life works 

(via cassipeia)

foreverpizzah:

HAHAHAHAHAHA OMG

(via whalebutt)

genderbells:

i was cuddling this guy once n he had his head on my chest n just whispered “what did you just think about?” and i went “netflix” becus i was thinkin about netflix and he just went

"oh. your heart sped up and i… ok"

(via swagitiez)

meladoodle:

i said brb to a guy on facebook 4 years ago and just now he replied ‘u back yet?’

(via societys-fucked-so-are-you)

Reasons why I didn’t do my English essay:

  1. “If you don’t have passion for something, you shouldn’t be doing it in the first place.” - Lee Alexander McQueen

(via societys-fucked-so-are-you)

phlynn:

remember when people choked on cinnamon to entertain the internet

(via youandiareastory)

drunkdilf:

isn’t it weird to think that most people you know had sex? that cute old lady sitting next to you on the bus? prob choked on a dick at one point in her life

(via youandiareastory)

kushdrinker:

how to give a handjob:

1. grab boner mid-shaft

2. pump until confetti is released

3. party

(via actually-alone)

officialpigeon:

Person: “I’m 6ft tall”

me: *tries to imagine six subway sandwiches on top of eachother*

(via creatingparadise)

(via pizza)

illkim:

winning an argument online

image

(via the-absolute-best-gifs)

meladoodle:

sorry son, it’s not MY fault you were born on opposite day.. now where are my presents

(via pizza)